The Monster You Fear
by H. S. Hines
Summary: B'Elanna succumbs to depression so deeply that no one may be able to bring her back. Nonetheless, Seven of Nine tries. Femslash, contains violence, strong language and adult situations. Codes: PT, T7. Complete. Please R&R.
1. The Monster You Fear, Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: Only the story is mine. Everything else belongs to Paramount.kicks Paramount But they've abandoned their characters and stuff and __did really nutso things to them, so I delete Paramount. I'm not making any money off this, so leave me alone, Paramount minions! This is a femslash story, so it has a woman in love with another woman. If that offends you, please read something else. The B'Elanna in "Extreme Risk" heavily influences this story.__  
_

Warning: This fic contains **graphic violence, strong language and adult situations**, parental discretion is advised.

Rated: R  
Genre: Angst (there's a shocker)  
Feedback: I would appreciate it!

**The Monster You Fear  
**

B'Elanna flinched inwardly_. 'This isn't me, this isn't who I am, who I want to be,'_ her mind cried, but she ignored it.

They were the words she had only thought so many times before - nothing new, nothing special.

'_Listless, loveless, lifeless, pointless, withered, dying..._' B'Elanna stood suddenly and stalked to the warp core, shouldering past Vorik as she did so. The young Vulcan raised his eyebrow at her, but moved quietly away.

"Computer, run a level four diagnostic on the EPS grid. Maybe a plasma spike caused the problem," she muttered.

"I have already ruled out that possibility," Vorik said quietly.

"Maybe the modules are mismatched-"

"That would require an entire rebuild, Lieutenant and I do believe that you are 'reaching.' Logic dictates-"

"Shut up, Vorik." B'Elanna growled. Vorik walked away again.

"Diagnostic complete. EPS grid functioning within normal parameters." _'What is normal? Why can't anything go right? Where did I lose myself, lose my nerve, my... spine? What does it matter, what can I do? Fight him? What will that accomplish? Broken bones and an empty bed, empty nights. But I already have that, who can sleep? I'm so stupid, why can't I fix this?'_

"Lieutenant, it is past your scheduled meal time. You requested that I join you, yet you did not show up as you promised. I assumed that I might find you here. Am I to further assume that you wish to cancel our plans?"

"No, Seven." B'Elanna looked up into the questioning blue eyes. "I just lost track of time, I'm sorry." B'Elanna stood painfully and realized that she had been frozen in one position for almost half an hour, lost in her own self-deprecating thoughts, trying desperately to fix a terribly minor problem that wasn't even really affecting ship's performance.

She was the only...

B'Elanna shook the thought away before it formed and realized that she had lost time again. She was holding her fork, stirring her food rather than eating it and Seven was staring at her.

Neither had touched her food, both sat in silence. For a moment, their eyes locked and neither spoke. They sat there, pondering the mysteries of one another, desperate to know why the other sought her company.

"You are not well," Seven observed. B'Elanna nodded mutely._ 'Typical Borg understatement. But why is she suddenly concerned for me?'_

"Does it matter?" B'Elanna regretted the words the moment they left her mouth. Despite her attempts to establish a friendship with the aloof drone, she had not yet revealed anything very personal; believing that Seven could not be trusted not to inform the captain of her recent depression.

"Your emotional and physical well-being is essential to your performance as the Chief Engineer of this starship. Considering that you are the best engineer I have met, then it would be a great loss to Voyager if you were to become ill. Also, I am concerned as your friend." _'Friend? I'm her friend? I'm the best Engineer she's met? Damn, that's a hell of a compliment from someone who's had millions of minds in her own.'_

"I've just been a little unfocused," B'Elanna partially confessed.

"Has he hurt you in some way?" Seven made the query so quietly that B'Elanna almost missed it. She more than almost wished she had.

"Who?" she asked, trying to evade the question.

"Lieutenant Paris. I have noticed your health declining steadily since you were married three months ago. You have become pensive, lackluster and emaciated."

"My god, I look that bad?" B'Elanna asked, trying to smile, but failing. Seven was right and she just didn't have the energy

She felt as though she were fighting a losing battle-no, she wasn't fighting at all. Fighting, battles, all those were Klingon, and she wasn't Klingon. But she wasn't Human either; she was lost somewhere in between. _'Nothing.'_

"Are you having marital difficulties?" _'I suppose'_

"Who doesn't?" B'Elanna dismissed with a light laugh. Seven frowned, but didn't say anything. Somehow they managed to finish their lunch, each lost to her own concerns and oblivious to the other's, even though they touched on the same subject…

**_To be continued..._**

_Sorry the chapters are so short, but at least it's a completed fic :) Also, longer chapters seem to suffer issues at the hands of QuickEdit 2.03 Plus, it seems to hate my double-hyphenation._


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: Only the story is mine. Everything else belongs to Paramount.kicks Paramount But they've abandoned their characters and stuff and __did really nutso things to them, so I delete Paramount. I'm not making any money off this, so leave me alone, Paramount minions! This is a femslash story, so it has a woman in love with another woman. If that offends you, please read something else. This story's B'Elanna is influenced heavily by the one in "Extreme Risk".__  
_

Warning: This fic contains **graphic violence, strong language and adult situations**, parental discretion is advised.

Rated: R  
Genre: Angst (there's a shocker)  
Feedback: I would appreciate it!

**The Monster You Fear, part 2**

B'Elanna walked into her quarters, exhausted. She took off her jacket, wincing at the tightness in her shoulders. She had been crawling around Jeffries tubes for hours, after her 'minor' problem had spread through five decks in barely twice as many seconds, blowing sixteen relays.

She walked to the replicator and stared at it, not really seeing it. She stood there for the better part of ten minutes when she realized that she was no longer alone. She spun and forced a smile for her husband, who was backlit from the hallway.

"Just get in?" Tom asked as he stepped through the doorway.

"What makes you ask that?" B'Elanna replied.

"The lights are still off. Computer, lights." The Paris-Torres quarters brightened on command and B'Elanna barely blinked.

"I, uh, guess I just didn't notice." Tom stepped close to B'Elanna and rubbed her shoulders. _'Who needs light that they aren't going to notice? Just a waste of energy.'_

"Are you okay? You've been a little withdrawn lately," he said. B'Elanna nodded weakly. Tom kissed her forehead. "If anything's bothering you, you can tell me, you know that, right?" She nodded and he hugged her.

B'Elanna stared past Tom at the ceiling, her vision slightly fuzzy. She could see his shoulders in her peripheral and even the rise and fall of his body, but she didn't feel anything. She wasn't even sure that she was there. It could have been a dream, as all of her life could have been.

But it wasn't.

Tom grunted and B'Elanna closed her eyes, arching a little, to make him believe that his goal was completely accomplished. He collapsed beside her and she tried to ignore the fact that she had felt nothing the entire time he was in her.

Nothing at all.

B'Elanna was dizzy, she felt sick, but she pushed the feelings aside and concentrated on keeping the ship in one piece as it was hit with blast after blast from the plasma disturbance that had violently sprung up around the ship. Seven of Nine knelt beside her and she wondered when she had fallen over.

It wasn't a pain she was familiar with, it came in waves: a horrible ache and a stabbing throb. Seven was saying something and B'Elanna looked down at her leg, where blood was soaking through her uniform.

Reality rushed at her and she realized what was happening for the first time in weeks. The clouded daze that had altered her perception lifted and she felt a sob rack her body as it emptied itself of the life she hadn't known was there.

She felt strong arms lifting her as Seven scooped her up and she put her own arms around the tall blonde's neck. Slowly, the ex-Borg's words pierced through the explosion of sound around them.

"Hold on, I will help you." B'Elanna looked up into Seven's face, curious about the words she had chosen to use, but too tired to really focus. A moment later, everything went dark.

When B'Elanna opened her eyes, she expected to see the EMH or Tom, but it was Seven who greeted her. She had a grim expression on her face and B'Elanna looked at her questioningly.

"The Doctor is talking with the Captain and Lieutenant Paris," Seven answered B'Elanna's unspoken question. B'Elanna felt the tears sting her eyes and she clenched her fists, feeling the first stirrings of anger in a long time in the form of the ancient protest: _'It isn't fair.'_ "Is it true?"

"Whatever, sure, it doesn't matter anyway." B'Elanna rolled over onto her side and crossed her arms. She suddenly felt a gentle hand on her shoulder.

"It matters to me. If you say that it is not true, then I will believe you," Seven said. B'Elanna couldn't make herself look into those once cold eyes and see the warmth and compassion she could hear in the ex-drone's deep voice. She didn't say anything, she couldn't shatter fragile illusions, couldn't take the innocence left in the young woman.

After a few moments, the weight of Seven's hand disappeared and B'Elanna felt even more alone than before.

"Please give us a moment alone," Janeway's restrained voice requested. Of whom, B'Elanna couldn't bring herself to look. There were a few minutes of uncomfortable silence before, finally, the captain's voice broke through. "I thought you were through this, B'Elanna. I'm disappointed in you."

"That makes two of us," B'Elanna muttered.

"B'Elanna, I'm not unsympathetic, I care about you. Please tell me what's wrong. Why are you hurting yourself again?"

"I didn't know," B'Elanna suddenly exploded into tears. "I really didn't know," The half-Klingon's shoulders shook with sobs and Janeway rushed around to face B'Elanna, scooping her up to hold while she cried.

"B'Elanna, I know you didn't try to hurt your baby. I think I know you better than that." They sat on the biobed for a while, Kathryn slowly rocking B'Elanna, until the engineer had calmed down. "Your holodeck privileges are hereby suspended until further notice and you're off duty under medical observation for the next week. If the doctor pronounces you fit to return to duty at the end of that time, you may."

"And if he doesn't?" B'Elanna asked, emotionally drained.

"I honestly hope he does."

_**To be continued...**_


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: Only the story is mine. Everything else belongs to Paramount.kicks Paramount But they've abandoned their characters and stuff and __did really nutso things to them, so I delete Paramount. I'm not making any money off this, so leave me alone, Paramount minions! This is a femslash story, so it has a woman in love with another woman. If that offends you, please read something else. The B'Elanna in "Extreme Risk" heavily influences this story.__  
_

Warning: This fic contains **graphic violence, strong language and adult situations**, parental discretion is advised.

Rated: R  
Genre: Angst (there's a shocker)  
Feedback: I would appreciate it!

**The Monster You Fear, part 3**

"Why didn't you tell me?" Tom asked, angrily. B'Elanna flinched slightly, but Tom didn't notice. "You knew we were trying! If you didn't want a baby, why didn't you say so instead of-"

"Tom, please leave me alone." B'Elanna said as she climbed into bed. "I wanted that baby just as much as you." _'Maybe more.'_

"Then you should have been more careful." _'Careful? Fuck you.'_

B'Elanna rolled over onto her side and clutched the pillow for the little comfort it offered her.

"You're acting like this was a conscious choice. I lost the baby because of stress, not injury." _'Don't you care that I just lost a baby? Don't you know how that hurts me? I feel like something's ripping my hearts and my gut apart.'_

"And why have you been acting different lately?" _'Does it really matter to you?'_

"Well, you have, too." _'So different'_

"Don't change the subject. You've been acting increasingly distant from me and I want to know why. Who have you been spending so much time with lately? You never eat lunch with me anymore."

"Well, Seven and I have been-"

"Seven of Nine? The _Ice Queen_? Shit, B'Elanna, you can do better than _her_ for a friend. What about Harry? We could all three eat lunch together tomorrow, here, in our quarters."

"Thanks, but if it's all the same to you, I'd rather just sleep all day tomorrow. Good-night, Tom." With that, B'Elanna ordered the computer to dim the lights and she prepared to fall asleep.

The door chimed, making B'Elanna jump. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at nothing. She stood and walked into the living room, requesting the time as she went.

"It is 12:30 hours," the computer responded.

"Come in," B'Elanna called, assuming that it was Harry-that Tom had invited him over despite her wishes. _'That would be just like him.'_ But it was Seven who entered, not Harry.

"Seven?" B'Elanna felt her spirits lift a little. "Hey, what are you doing here?"

"We had scheduled lunch together for this time. I decided that you could only benefit from social interaction, considering that you have been somewhat reclusive as of late." Seven set the container that she was carrying down onto B'Elanna's coffee table, giving the television a curious look.

"That's Tom's. I bought it for him a while back."

"What is it?" B'Elanna sat on the floor in front of the coffee table and Seven joined her.

"It's a television, from the twentieth century. It plays two-dimensional programs, originally…" B'Elanna trailed off. They sat there a few moments, neither moving, and then B'Elanna opened the container and smiled. "Chicken soup?" She stood and walked to the replicator, ordering it to create two bowls and spoons.

"I believe that it is supposed to make one well." Seven raised one eyebrow. "Although it has no medicinal properties in this situation, I was hoping that it would be the thought that counts?"

"Thank you," B'Elanna said, setting the bowls down and using the ladle in the receptacle to serve the hot soup. Both women sat next to each other in companionable silence, eating their lunch and not really noticing that their thighs were resting pleasantly against each other, nor that they were both taking comfort from the contact.

**_To be continued..._**


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer: Only the story is mine. Everything else belongs to Paramount.kicks Paramount But they've abandoned their characters and stuff and__  
did really nutso things to them, so I delete Paramount. I'm not making any money off this, so leave me alone, Paramount minions! This is a femslash story, so it has a woman in love with another woman. If that offends you, please read something else. The B'Elanna in "Extreme Risk" heavily influences this story.__  
_

Warning: This fic contains** graphic violence, strong language and adult situations**, parental discretion is advised.

Rated: R  
Genre: Angst (there's a shocker)  
Feedback: I would appreciate it!

**The Monster You Fear, part 4**

Over the next week, Seven showed up every day, bringing lunch with her and eating with B'Elanna. Harry showed up once or twice, but he only wanted to cheer B'Elanna up, and she wasn't in the mood to joke and tease. Seven was the only one who seemed to understand that all B'Elanna wanted was company.

At first, their meals were silent, only a few words exchanged, but after a few meals, B'Elanna began asking about what was happening on Voyager and was surprised to find that Seven knew quite a bit about the rumors and gossip that the half-Klingon missed so much.

"You're kidding me, right? Vorik has been seeing Megan Delaney?"

"I did not say that they were romantically involved, just that they have been spending a considerable amount of time together lately."

"Man, Megan's changed a lot. She and Jenny used to be inseparable."

"Apparently, their twinning period has ended. No one has seen them together at all in the past four days." Seven said while dishing some of Neelix's leeola root casserole onto B'Elanna's plate.

"Damn, never saw that coming."

"It is not likely to last. They are too dissimilar to maintain a relationship."

"Opposites attract, Seven." B'Elanna laughed a little, the first time in days. Seven raised her eyebrow.

"That is not logical."

"Yes, it is."

"Explain."

"When two people bring contrasted traits into the relationship, they often find those differences complimentary. That's not to say that it doesn't work out a lot of the time, but often, those two people can find that, with as much as they have in opposition, they have just as much in common."

"For example?"

"Well, take you and me," B'Elanna said, setting her fork down. "You're logical, mostly even-tempered and orderly. I'm irrational, hotheaded and messy."

"You are also outgoing, and I am an introvert. You are friendly and open, while I am off-putting-"

"Hold it right there. I'm off-putting, too. A lot of the crew is afraid of my temper-"

"While they are afraid that I will assimilate them. They are more comfortable in your presence, though."

"Not all of them. But what I was going to say is that while I have poor impulse control and you have too much control over yourself, we're both outcast, the best at what we do, our favorite colour is red and both had our non-human culture rammed down our throats. We're independent…" B'Elanna stopped and looked down. "Anyway, we've got just as much in common as we don't."

"That is a valid point," Seven conceded with a slight smile. "Although we are not candidates for a romantic relationship, so your theory would be difficult to test."

"Well, you could always date Harry, he's about as different from you as night from day," B'Elanna said with a laugh, causing Seven to smirk.

"That is not a likely occurrence. Ensign Kim is not even in the top percentage of my likely candidates for a mate."

"Yeah, it is really hard to see you two together. I don't know why I even thought of him," B'Elanna laughed again. They returned to their meal, as always, exchanging more gossip and enjoying each other's company.

"I think it's interesting that you were six when you were assimilated, and that's about the same age I was when my father left," B'Elanna said from her position stretched out on the couch. Seven was sitting on the floor, finishing her water.

"How did you feel when he left?"

"Abandoned. I was convinced it was my fault. That if he had wanted me, he would have taken me with him. But I was too… _Klingon_, too much like my mother and… he hated me." B'Elanna said it quietly; somehow, the wound had never healed. "And he never contacted me when I was growing up, never visited. So it was obvious."

"So you hated yourself?" Seven asked just as quietly.

"Yeah." There was silence for a few minutes.

"I hate myself sometimes, as well. The things I did for the Collective, the anger I felt towards my parents for putting me in danger without giving me a choice in the matter, how I still can't forgive them sometimes for their selfishness. Their curiosity and work was more important to them than their own daughter. Other times, I realize that, had their work made it back to the Alpha Quadrant, the fight against the Borg would have been much easier and they were only thinking of the greater good."

B'Elanna reached out and squeezed Seven's shoulder.

"I'm sorry that I was so hostile toward you when you first came on board, Seven."

"And I am sorry that I often antagonized you because I was fascinated with your reactions to my stimuli." B'Elanna's jaw dropped.

"You did _what?_ You bitch," B'Elanna teased, giving Seven a light push to let her know that she was joking. Seven craned her neck around to look at B'Elanna's eyes, which were finally laughing with her. Seven's look became serious and B'Elanna suddenly exploded with worry. "I'm sorry, I was just joking, you know that right? I didn't hurt you, did I?" _'I can be so clumsy sometimes, shit. Please don't let me have hurt her.'_

"No, B'Elanna. I was just glad to see that you seem to be feeling better."

"Yeah," B'Elanna said, relief washing through her. "I actually do." The door chose that moment to hiss open and allow Tom Paris to enter. He stopped and the smile on his face vanished when he saw Seven. Then it returned, almost so fast that if you blinked, you would have missed it.

"Hi, Seven." Tom said, carefully, slowly walking around her to sit next to B'Elanna, who sat up, on the couch. He kissed B'Elanna.

"Hey, honey, how are you?" He asked casually. "I thought I'd surprise you and have lunch together today, but it looks like you've already eaten."

"I will return to my duties," Seven said, standing and nodding to Tom, who returned the gesture.

"Bye, Seven, nice seeing you," he called as she left. She didn't look back.

"Harry was by earlier," B'Elanna said quickly. "We all ate together, but he had to leave because he had to-"

"Hey, hey, it's okay." Tom said, kissing B'Elanna's forehead. "I just wanted to see how you were doing."

"Actually, I'm feeling better." B'Elanna smiled at him and distanced herself from him on the couch. He wrinkled his brow a little, noticing the move. "I should be able to return to duty in the morning."

"Are you sure that's wise? I mean, maybe you should take a few more days off, not rush things."

"I'll be fine, Tom, really."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah." B'Elanna nodded distractedly and hoped that she was right.

B'Elanna held herself tight, curled up in the shower with a dermal regenerator, trying to keep her hand from being shaken by the silent sobs racking her body. She had to cover it up well enough for the Doctor not to notice in the morning. He _couldn't_ see it…

**_To be continued..._**


	5. Chapter 5

_Disclaimer: Only the story is mine. Everything else belongs to Paramount.kicks Paramount But they've abandoned their characters and stuff and did really nutso things to them, so I delete Paramount. I'm not making any money off this, so leave me alone, Paramount minions! This is a femslash story, so it has a woman in love with another woman. If that offends you, please read something else. The B'Elanna in "Extreme Risk" heavily influences this story.__  
_

Warning: This fic contains **graphic violence, strong language and adult situations**, parental discretion is advised.

Rated: R  
Genre: Angst (there's a shocker)  
Feedback: I would appreciate it!

**The Monster You Fear, part 5**

B'Elanna stood on the first balcony in Engineering, delighted to see her department once again, feeling her spirits rise. She had never known how much these people meant to her until just that moment. _'They mean everything to you, but what do you mean to them?'_ a nagging voice in the back of her head demanded, dragging B'Elanna back down.

_'Maybe lunch will be better.' _

Tom had chased Seven away within minutes of their sitting down to eat. B'Elanna was angry, but she kept it to herself, like so many things these days. But she wasn't about to be kept away from Seven. Something felt very important about continuing that relationship.

So, she was standing outside the doors of Cargo Bay Two, not really sure what to say. She wasn't invited, she didn't have an excuse, she just wanted to spend time with Seven.

She stepped forward and triggered the doors after she couldn't find a chime to press. Seven was standing at a computer console, reading a padd. B'Elanna stood in the threshold as Seven's head slowly rose to see who had entered her space. B'Elanna watched the ex-drone's lips curl up in the corners in an almost imperceptible smile, unable to believe that there was once a time that she wouldn't have seen it.

"Hello, B'Elanna. How was your day?" Seven asked as though visits from the engineer were a regular occurrence.

"Pretty good. We nearly had a coolant leak when a faulty gel pack caused a plasma relay to blow. But that was the biggest scare all day. Pretty routine other than that." _'Except that I missed you terribly.' _"How was your day?"

"Nothing eventful occurred." Seven set the padd down and looked at her hand for a moment. B'Elanna used that moment to screw up her courage. Finally, when Seven turned back to look at B'Elanna, linking her hands behind her back, B'Elanna blurted:

"I'm sorry about lunch. I didn't know that Tom had changed his schedule." Seven raised her ocular implant. _'Please don't be mad.'_

"It was rude of him not to inform you or ask if you had previous plans." Seven stated, matter-of-factly.

"No, he just meant it to be romantic," B'Elanna defended. Seven inclined her head.

"You would know him better than I." They stood there a few moments longer, neither sure what to say. _'Maybe this was a mistake.'_

"Well, I just thought I'd come by and see how you are, and say hi." B'Elanna said and turned to leave.

"I am well, how are you?" Seven said quickly. B'Elanna stopped.

"Oh, um, I'm fine."

"Would you like…" Seven trailed off and B'Elanna turned around to find her searching for something. "To play," Seven turned back to look at B'Elanna, "Kadis kot?" B'Elanna smiled and nodded.

"Yeah, why not?"

****

**_To be continued..._**


	6. Chapter 6

_Disclaimer: Only the story is mine. Everything else belongs to Paramount.kicks Paramount But they've abandoned their characters and stuff and __did really nutso things to them, so I delete Paramount. I'm not making any money off this, so leave me alone, Paramount minions! This is a femslash story, so it has a woman in love with another woman. If that offends you, please read something else. The B'Elanna in "Extreme Risk" heavily influences this story.__  
_

Warning: This fic contains **graphic violence, strong language and adult situations**, parental discretion is advised.

Rated: R  
Genre: Angst (there's a shocker)  
Feedback: I would appreciate it!

**The Monster You Fear, part 6**

B'Elanna felt the oppressive atmosphere immediately as she entered her quarters. Tom was sitting on the couch watching the television. He looked up when the doors hissed shut and turned the t.v. off with the remote sitting next to him. He stood, dropping the remote and confronted her.

"Where have you been?" B'Elanna's mind raced, trying to come up with an answer that he couldn't prove wrong. "Ships logs say that you got off three hours ago. Where were you?"

"I was-"

"In the cargo bay with that damn Borg. You didn't even check with me to see if I had any plans, you just went and played with someone that I think I told you that you'd be better off without," he growled. B'Elanna stepped back as he advanced. "The Ice Queen is more important than your _husband_?" he roared.

"Don't call her that!" B'Elanna yelled back. Tom's eyes narrowed and he turned his head to one side. Her body released adrenaline and her hearts began pounding as he smiled cruelly.

"What is it, B'Elanna? You love her? Has that little engineer's mind of yours got a thing for that machine?" B'Elanna clenched her fists and teeth, shaking with rage, but fighting down the urge to fight him. '_You're not a Klingon; you don't fight. It's not right, calm down, B'Elanna._'Everything that she fought against every day recoiled in disgust at her thoughts. But she had never lost her temper with him-not with her husband and she would be damned if she lost it now.

"What are you thinking?" he asked, looking at her posture.

"Nothing," she lied, trying to avoid eye contact. She was looking at the floor when his hand made contact with her jaw, spinning her against the wall. She felt him grab her hair and jerk her head back to look at him.

"What is wrong with you, B'Elanna? Why can't you be a normal wife, huh? I should never have married a Klingon, I should have known that you would be more trouble than you're worth."

"Tom, please stop," B'Elanna sobbed, trying to fight back the tears, keeping her temper in check. He hit her again, almost casually and she tasted blood. He shoved her to the ground.

"I'll let you make it up to me," he said suddenly. B'Elanna looked at the door. _'I'll never make it. Kahless, he reeks. I can smell the synthehol from here.'_ He stalked over to her and she crab-walked backwards.

"No, Tom, please don't." Tears sprung up in B'Elanna's eyes and she closed her fists, concentrating on the pain of her fingernails digging into her palms. _'I could break him so easily.'_ B'Elanna shook away the 'Klingon' thought and curled up on the floor, hoping that passive resistance would stop what was coming.

'_I wish I was dead._'

****

**_To be continued..._**


	7. Chapter 7

_Disclaimer: Only the story is mine. Everything else belongs to Paramount.kicks Paramount But they've abandoned their characters and stuff and did really nutso things to them, so I delete Paramount. I'm not making any money off this, so leave me alone, Paramount minions! This is a femslash story, so it has a woman in love with another woman. If that offends you, please read something else. The B'Elanna in "Extreme Risk" heavily influences this story.__  
_

Warning: This fic contains **graphic violence, strong language and adult situations**, parental discretion is advised.

Rated: R  
Genre: Angst (there's a shocker)  
Feedback: I would appreciate it!

**The Monster You Fear, part 7**

_'He wasn't like this before we got married. He wasn't anything like this. What did I do? Why does he hate me now? Why do I let him make me weak? Do I even love him anymore? I don't feel it when he fucks me. When was the last time I thought of it as making love? Is it me; is it my fault? Why do I make him angry?'_

B'Elanna worked the dermal regenerator with some skill now that she had so much experience using it. Tom had given it to her and shown her how to use it properly.

"Why do I let him do this to me?" B'Elanna whispered as the last bruise disappeared. '_Because you don't want to admit that you don't love him anymore. Because you want to be with a human, want to be human, so badly that you're willing to put up with anything to pretend to be normal, pretend that you're human. But you're stupid because this is the same bullshit that you're running from in your Klingon side._' She stared at the shower.

It wasn't a big revelation. She already knew the answers. She'd thought it all before. She just didn't have any reason to leave him, nowhere to go after.

She didn't want to be abandoned again.

B'Elanna looked across the table at Seven, watching the blonde eating. Seven was looking back at her, making eye contact, but saying nothing. Just waiting; just there for her.

"Who am I?" B'Elanna couldn't stop herself from asking it. Seven raised her ocular implant.

"You are Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres, Chief Engineer of the starship Voyager. You are the wife of Lieutenant Thomas Paris. You are an excellent parises squares player and a formidable hoverball opponent. You are an intelligent, beautiful fun person. And you are my friend."

"Do you love me, Seven?" B'Elanna felt unreal. The world around her seemed to fade, only the question remaining. "Do you love me?"

"Why would I love you? You do as you're told. You have no opinion, no life of your own, you are property. You spread your legs on command and roll over to accommodate the whims of that boy that shares your bed. Your own desires are never voiced, so even if I wanted you, I wouldn't know that you wanted me, and I couldn't love you." B'Elanna lowered her eyes for a moment, then looked back up.

"But do you love me?" Seven smiled and opened her mouth.

"It is zero-six-hundred hours." B'Elanna opened her eyes and looked around, confused for a moment. Then she heard Tom's snoring next to her and she realized that her wake up call had just gone off. She sat up and swung her legs off the bed.

"Thank you computer, cease alarm." The buzzing noise stopped and B'Elanna stood up to get dressed.

****

**_To be continued..._**


	8. Chapter 8

_Disclaimer: Only the story is mine. Everything else belongs to Paramount.kicks Paramount But they've abandoned their characters and stuff and __did really nutso things to them, so I delete Paramount. I'm not making any money off this, so leave me alone, Paramount minions! This is a femslash story, so it has a woman in love with another woman. If that offends you, please read something else. The B'Elanna in "Extreme Risk" heavily influences this story.__  
_

Warning: This fic contains **graphic violence, strong language and adult situations**, parental discretion is advised.

Rated: R  
Genre: Angst (there's a shocker)  
Feedback: I would appreciate it!

**The Monster You Fear, part 8**

"I don't love him anymore." B'Elanna looked at Seven for her reaction.

"I thought not. Why do you remain with him, then?" Seven's face was impassive. '_Because I'm scared to leave._'

"I guess I just don't want to be alone. It's depressing to think about."

"Yet, you are depressed in the relationship, so why does that hold you back? And you could easily find someone to date, I am certain of that."

"Oh, yeah? Who'd wanna date me?" B'Elanna asked with a shrug. '_I want you, Seven. Do you know that? Of course you don't. Wouldn't it scare you to know that I've begun wondering what you look like under your biosuit._'

"Until your relationship has ended, I do believe that this is an inappropriate topic for discussion." '_Kiss me, Seven._'

"I guess you're right." They worked in silence after that, struggling to restore the deflector to working order after their failed attempt at creating an artificial wormhole.

'_It's over. Tom, I can't take this anymore. Fuck off, flyboy._' B'Elanna chuckled at the last thought, and then returned to sitting pensively in the dark. After about ten minutes, the doors opened.

"Lights," Tom called. B'Elanna didn't look up, but sensed him as she moved towards her. "Sitting in the dark again?"

"We're through, Tom. I can't do this anymore." B'Elanna's hearts hammered in her chest as the words slipped from her lips.

"What, is this about last night? Look, I'm sorry, you know how I get sometimes. I shouldn't have-"

"It's not just one time, Tom. You and I both know that this is some kind of power trip for you, and I'm not coming along for the ride anymore, I can't." B'Elanna stood without looking at the helmsman and picked up the lone suitcase that lingered. She had left the rest of her things with Harry, who had been confused, but compliant.

"It's that damn Borg bitch that's put these ideas into your head, isn't it? You're leaving me for her, aren't you?" B'Elanna shook her head. '_Kahless, was he always this egotistical?_'

"Will you listen to yourself? You're such an arrogant prick! _You_ are the reason I am leaving. Not anyone else. _You_." B'Elanna moved toward the door, only to be punched full out by the enraged man. She hit the deck, surprised by the force behind the blow. He seemed to have almost grown with his rage. His boot flew into her vision and everything dimmed.

When she was able to focus again, Tom was gone. She stood and ran as fast as she could, not needing the computer to know exactly where he'd gone: Cargo Bay Two.

"…she's mine and I can't handle a liability like you anymore." B'Elanna ran in as Tom finished his rant and raised his phaser to point at Seven's head. The blonde was standing very still, watching Paris like he was a dangerous animal. Seven looked trapped.

"**_No!_**" B'Elanna screamed and launched herself on the pilot's back. Tom's shot went wide but not wide enough. B'Elanna saw Seven crumple in the corner of her vision right before she hit the wall at an odd angle. For a moment, she thought her neck was broken, but when she moved her arm, she realized that she wasn't as hurt as she felt. But that was about to change.

"You fucking bitch, you faithless _whore_," Tom ranted as he delivered blow after blow to his unfortunate wife. B'Elanna felt her ribs break on her right side and heard the sickening crack as Tom stomped down on her hand, breaking it. She smelled Seven's perfume, and suddenly the beating stopped.

Her vision came in waves, something hot was running down her face and her cheeks were sticky and swollen. She managed to roll over and watch what was happening. Seven was bleeding from her left side; it had soaked into her maroon biosuit and was pooling on the floor. Tom had sliced off her arm and torn a hole in her side, but still Seven had managed to pull him off B'Elanna.

At some point, Tuvok and a security team had shown up, but Tom fought his way past them, wild and crazed beyond comprehension. B'Elanna lost time and suddenly, she was looking into Seven's face, lying on the deck in front of her. The ex-Borg's eyes were closed and she was ashen, but her remaining hand was holding onto B'Elanna's.

It was the last sight B'Elanna viewed.

****

**_To be continued..._**


	9. Chapter 9, The End

_Disclaimer: Only the story is mine. Everything else belongs to Paramount.kicks Paramount But they've abandoned their characters and stuff and __did really nutso things to them, so I delete Paramount. I'm not making any money off this, so leave me alone, Paramount minions! This is a femslash story, so it has a woman in love with another woman. If that offends you, please read something else. The B'Elanna in "Extreme Risk" heavily influences this story.__  
_

Warning: This fic contains **graphic violence, strong language and adult situations,** parental discretion is advised.

Rated: R  
Genre: Angst (there's a shocker)  
Feedback: I would appreciate it!

**The Monster You Fear, part 9**

"…find him?"

"We followed his ion trail on long-range sensors, but it ended about twenty light years away. Then we detected residual traces of a transwarp conduit." Tuvok's voice was hushed in respect for his location.

"You think that the Borg assimilated him?"

"It would appear that way, Doctor," Janeway answered, her voice thick.

"Then you mean that the Borg have one of our people, a bridge officer, nonetheless."

"It is unlikely that the Borg would assimilate him, considering that his mind was so chaotic. In all likelihood, he would have been assimilated enough to discover the defect, then deactivated." That once cold voice was now heaven to B'Elanna's ears.

"Seven?" B'Elanna managed to croak out. She was unable to open her eyes, and couldn't turn her head, even though she tried.

"You are awake?"

"How do you feel?"

"Captain, Seven, please leave my patient alone for now. This is the first time she's been awake in over a week. Let her take it slowly, she's been through a lot."

"Why can't I open my eyes?" B'Elanna's words were slurred and her jaw felt like it was clamped closed, but it didn't stop her from speaking.

"I'm afraid that I had to immobilize your face and head, until the swelling in your brain goes down a bit. Please don't try to talk, not for now. I'm going to sedate you in a few minutes, but at the moment, if you wish to communicate, use the fingers on your left hand. Tap once for yes, twice for no. Tap if you understand." B'Elanna drummed her fingers once.

"Do you remember what happened?" Tap. '_Of course I do. How could I ever forget?_'

"Can you feel this?" Tap. "This?" Tap. "And, this?" Tap, tap.

"Is there anything I can bring you?" '_Yeah, you, Seven._' Tap. "Is it in your quarters?" Tap. '_Bring me Toby._' "Is it utilitarian?" Tap, tap. '_Depends on your definition._' "Is it for comfort?" Tap. "Is it a certain plush targh?" '_You know it, Seven._' Tap.

"Alright, I hate to break this up, but I'm going to have to insist that B'Elanna rests some more. So, everyone out and good-night, Lieutenant."

B'Elanna opened her eyes and looked around Sickbay, searching out the EMH. She discovered him sitting in his office and she tried to sit up. She found that she didn't have any trouble doing so and she quickly hopped off the bed, to find that she was wearing one of the gowns that didn't close in back. She tried to find her clothes, but the doctor had hidden them too well.

Feeling restless, B'Elanna walked out of Sickbay, deciding to ignore the breeze against her derriere.

"Computer, what is the location of Seven of Nine?"

"Seven of Nine is in Lieutenant Torres' quarters." B'Elanna stopped a second, then headed to her quarters; Toby tucked securely under her arm.

The doors swished open, admitting her to the quarters she had once shared with Tom, where she found Seven of Nine laying on her couch, asleep. B'Elanna was surprised at this. She walked slowly over to the ex-drone's side and sat down, reaching out to touch one of the escaped blonde tresses, which was just as soft as it looked.

Seven opened her eyes and looked at B'Elanna. She sat up quickly and locked eyes with her half-human friend. A moment later, they were embracing.

"Why did you not tell someone that he was abusing you?"

"I was embarrassed," B'Elanna answered, truthfully. "You have no idea how many times I almost told you."

"I am sorry that I did not press the issue when I saw that you were hurting. But why did you let everyone believe that you were hurting yourself?"

"Because, at one time, I was. But Captain Janeway was right; I'm past that. Instead, I was letting Tom hurt me." Seven's eyes darkened.

"Were he still here, I believe that I might cause him severe bodily harm myself." Seven pulled B'Elanna close to her. "I was frightened that you might not wake up," she confessed.

"Seven…" B'Elanna began, then looked away.

"I apologize. It is too soon for me to…" Seven trailed off.

"To what? Seven, I need to know." Without warning, Seven stood and walked to the door. B'Elanna curled up on the couch, wondering what was going to happen next, how she was going to sleep and how long before the doctor realized that she was missing.

'_Just tell me that you're not going to abandon me,_' B'Elanna thought desperately at Seven as she passed through the doors. Seven paused and offered a final promise as she went:

"I will be back tomorrow, B'Elanna. Every tomorrow if you like." Then the doors closed.

**_The End_**

_Special Disclaimer: The title for this fic comes from "Man That You Fear" by Marilyn Manson._


End file.
